Life reimagined

I knew it had been a while since I even looked at my own blog. But almost 3 years, that’s a while, plus some. To say I had writer’s block is quite the understatement. But here I am.

So where did I even leave off? We had been snow-birding to Arizona in our 5th wheel, Helen. And then (insert eerie music), coronavirus, covid 19, the ‘rona, hit. The unknown was off the chart, fear reigned, people died, were sick, lives changed, and paper products hard to come by. The summer of 2020, we stayed home, made a killer garden for canning, living off the land. When society failed, we’d be ready!

We took on medical procedures, taking care of business. Meanwhile my brain and heart underwent a transformation of sorts. Life was short, getting shorter. My tolerance for BS became even shorter. All the things I had smoothed over, fixed, ignored, now took on a life of their own. A life that I had no room for.

I struggled with my life path as it was changing. I had invested 40 years with the cowboy, downplayed the bad, built up the good. But the fear of change was now eclipsed by the fear of complacency.

As I write this, I am leaving the home I’ve been in for 30+ years. Leaving behind the life and man I committed to 40 years ago. I know it’s the right decision, but there’s a niggling fear, that self doubt we all undertake when stepping off the ledge, can be daunting. There’s so much about all this I could share, but right now I’m processing it myself. And truly, this is probably not real interesting or entertaining. If I still had any followers, I might have just lost ya, lol. But bear with me while I ramble along. I feel my “writing juices” starting back up, I hope! I may not be rambling rv style now, but that may be in the picture, down the road. For now, I’m healing my heart, my soul, the life I have left. Next time I’ll share more of where I’m at physically and emotionally. Till then, gratitude at ya!

Stay tuned

September

September. It conjures up images of back to school and buses, fall leaves, and shorter days beginning.

For me, September belongs to summer. It starts as August ends and lulls you into thinking it’s just another sunny, summer day. But because of those previously mentioned school buses, it becomes more of an adult summer day. The stores are no longer full of moms with kids in tow, just moms. Recreational areas once teeming with both happy and annoying noises, are now quiet. A time for retired folks like me to soak it all in.

But then (insert dramatic music here), there’s a change. A heavier dew on the lawn. A chilly beginning to the day. Ever so slightly, day by day, the sun drops a little faster. Thoughts of pulling out the crock pot for that comfort food.

The calendar says fall, the air says fall but my heart says no, not yet! And I wonder if September isn’t a metaphor of life. Let’s face it, once you’re in your late 50’s, the autumn of your life is upon you. Regardless of how fit, active or mentally sharp you are, like a September day, one cannot be assured of the warmth of that summer day. That dew on the lawn? That’s my aches and stiffness as I get out of bed. I accept these things as the new normal just as we accept those shorter days.

September.

Ugh, don’t get me started on October……