Selling out

My house went on the market today. I can’t describe it. “Weird” is all I can come up with but it doesn’t begin to really sum it up. Today I realized I have lived in the house we built for HALF MY LIFE. Really? I never thought of it this way until now.

A few years ago, we talked about selling out. Too much property, too much house, too much maintenance. This was always where we were going. Now, it’s just going our separate ways. So why is it so hard?

Because my heart was in it. My children, my marriage, my LIFE. I will never look back and think, did I do enough? I did. I gave to the other 4 people loved with my all my heart. A piece of me, of my being, will always be lodged in that land. From the Cedar Circle, my personal love, a stand of cedars, made perfect by my grandson Lukan who created a firepit for me, to fruit trees and deer, owls and eagles. Ahhhh, so hard to let it go but I can’t hang on to it all anymore.

But it’s time to move on. Maybe there’s another piece of my life that I just never understood till now that awaits me. I trust in that. Gotta.