Selling out

My house went on the market today. I can’t describe it. “Weird” is all I can come up with but it doesn’t begin to really sum it up. Today I realized I have lived in the house we built for HALF MY LIFE. Really? I never thought of it this way until now.

A few years ago, we talked about selling out. Too much property, too much house, too much maintenance. This was always where we were going. Now, it’s just going our separate ways. So why is it so hard?

Because my heart was in it. My children, my marriage, my LIFE. I will never look back and think, did I do enough? I did. I gave to the other 4 people loved with my all my heart. A piece of me, of my being, will always be lodged in that land. From the Cedar Circle, my personal love, a stand of cedars, made perfect by my grandson Lukan who created a firepit for me, to fruit trees and deer, owls and eagles. Ahhhh, so hard to let it go but I can’t hang on to it all anymore.

But it’s time to move on. Maybe there’s another piece of my life that I just never understood till now that awaits me. I trust in that. Gotta.

2 thoughts on “Selling out

  1. I know it’s hard to believe that we lived in one place that long. A part of your heart will always be there. You have so much to look forward too. You won’t realize it now, but you will the first time you can exhale and know that the house served you well and now this is a new chapter of your Second Adulthood. Keep making memories! Love you!

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  2. As I sit here, I’m thinking back to my similar situation. It was really difficult but 5-10 years from now you’ll be able to look back at this time as what a learning experience it was. Drive by the house 🏠 and smile and say that was my life back then and look at me now!!! Stay focused on tomorrow, I’m sure it all will be better. It will be what you make it.

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